Growing up I never really knew what financial independence meant. I knew I made quick money from summer jobs when I was young, and I spent that money even quicker, but the significance of having my own money and what that really meant and what I could really do with it only became more apparent to me as I got older.
This realization hit hard when I figured out I had been working since I was 14 and had almost nothing to show for. But it also crept up and hit me gradually as I started to notice this was a common problem for many women. Whether it was a character on a show, a woman on a podcast, or different people I talked to, I noticed there was always a story about financial independence—or dependence—and how this subtle change of words lead them to live completely different lives.
I don’t know what I was more shocked by. The fact that there were so many women who had relied on different resources and people for their finances, or the fact that I was currently living as one. And it wasn’t that I had crazy resources to fall back on but it was more so I was very comfortable to have someone make the money for me. Of course growing up, it is extremely normal to rely on your parents for financial help and it’s a privilege to do so. But, I was more mad about how careless I had been about the topic and how I never noticed what road this dependence might someday take me down.
However, on the other side of this terror, there came inspiration as for every story about financial dependence there was always another one about independence, and it often came from the same person. I couldn’t stop listening to these women and the incredibly hard things they had to face to be where they are. Their words resonated with different parts of my life and it became apparent to me that I was going to have to do it the hard way too.
I began to learn about topics I knew absolutely nothing about and outsourced advice and information being mortified that the person on the other end would know I knew absolutely nothing about personal finance. I opened accounts for myself, researched myself, and of course made horrible mistakes by myself as well. There hasn’t been a summer since I was 15 that I hadn’t worked at least two jobs, and that includes internships. And although it can get tiring, it’s the decision I made and I love it.
Not only did my mindset on earning income change, but the way I spent and what I chose to spend my money on had all to do with my own independent decisions, and that made spending powerful. As I went on my university exchange, I remember thinking how my parents didn’t make this decision but I did, and so for that reason why should I burden them by taking their own hard earned money when this was my choice to make. Not having anything to fall back on and having no other option but to do it myself is actually where most of the freedom was created.
Like a side effect of my actions, the thing that I started doing all of this for finally came as I began to earn more money and manage it properly, but from this process I learned about much more than just cash.
My mom often told me “if you marry for money, you will spend your whole life paying for it” and I often think that this mindset to strive for financial independence and the hard work that comes with it is less than a fraction of the impossibly hard work that comes from relying on others for your freedom.
